In A Final Play For The Youth Vote, Clinton Enlists the Help of Eminem For The Last Debate

Throwing conventional debate preparation out the window, the Clinton campaign has been working a new angle to capture the youth vote in tonight’s final debate with help from an unlikely source, rapper Eminem.

“I was surprised Clinton contacted me” Eminem said when reached for comment, “but she said she really wanted to ‘go all 8 Mile’ on Trump tonight. It should be cool to watch because she has some strong rap skills and is great with a beat. I mean, did you see her shimmy, man? That should tell you something.”

The Clinton camp doesn’t want us to know everything she plans on saying, of course, but they did allow us to see a bit of one of the raps she has prepared which appears to be an homage to the epic final scene where Rabbit takes down Papa Doc in “8 Mile” by listing everything bad his opponent can say before his turn. It should be a crazy night in an already crazy election, and we look forward to seeing Clinton bring down the house.


Now everybody from the USA
Put your motherfucking hands up and follow H!
Everybody from the USA
Put your motherfucking hands up!

Look Look

Now, while he stands tough
Notice that this man did have his mic off
This election got you pissed off?
Now who’s afraid of the Clinton Machine?

1, 2, 3 and to the 4
1 Trump , 2 Trump, 3 Trump, 4
4 Trump, 3 Trump, 2 Trump, 1
You’re Trump, he’s Trump, no Trump, none

This guy ain’t for the land of the free,
I know everything he’s got to say against HRC,
I am a fucking lib, and I do live in a mansion
My bruh Obama didn’t stop the ISIS expansion
I was the first pick of the damn DNC
And Debra did throw all her support behind me
I did use a private email
And I fucked up in Benghazi,
I’m still railing against this spray-tanned Nazi
I made some mistakes, I’m not a perfect girl
But this man’s take is

Don’t ever try to judge me chump
You’re just a fucking con artist Trump
And I know something about you
You opened Trump University, that’s a rip-off school
What’s the matter bruh? I got you in a huff?
This guy’s a President? His real name’s Dumpf
And Dumpf here doesn’t like to pay his taxes
And Dumpf’s Russians know what a good hack is
This guy don’t wanna battle, he sniffs
He prepares for these debates using hieroglyphs
He’s an orange with thin-skin
Ima say what I’m thinking and fuck the win

Fuck the beat too, I’ll go acapella
Fuck a Pence, fuck a Rudy, fuck Wikileaks, fuck everybody
Fuck y’all if you doubt me
I’m a piece of established ass, I say it proudly
And fuck this loser, he can bite me, I’m outty,
Here, tell these people something they don’t know about me.